The dreaded return (1 of 3)

So I’ve dreaded the behemoth that this post was going to be, since my last entry was back in the April/May timeframe. Truth be told, there really wasn’t anything to write about in the intervening months. Life out here is pretty sedentary and predictable. Take one day, wash it, rinse it, dry it, and use it again. Of course there are little things that I could bitch, gripe about…but that is not what this blog is about, and I seriously doubt everyone here wants to hear about my daily grievances.

Anywho…

When we last left our intrepid hero, he was taking us through the process of making white wine clam sauce…..huh? Let’s spice this up just a little...I did just get back a couple weeks ago from my mid tour leave, so I do happen to have things to talk about……………and pictures to share.

“A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.” -- Author Unknown

The Prelude:

So it was that at the end of July, I was getting to go home for a couple of weeks for some R&R. (Rest and Relaxation). Getting out of the country was not too bad…it only took 2 days just to get to Kuwait. Of course, while in Kuwait, we were treated to the wonderful goodness that is McDonald’s, KFC, Subway, and Pizza Hut. Great, it’s as if they were telling us:

“Here you go G.I., get fat before you see the family!”

I had liberal amounts of the goodness. Thrice. Never pass up the opportunity for a good meal. EVER. It’s one of the Soldiers’ mantras. (though I’m sure OMGWTF will totally agree with that assessment)


In all actuality, we were not in Kuwait all that long. Maybe a total of 24 hours before we were loaded on a DC-7 and flown into Leipzig, GER. (get to mark another country off the list! YES!) While there, I took the opportunity to buy some German Bon Bon’s. Berry and Citrus flavors respectively. I have yet to finish them. Not that they aren’t delicious…rather, they are to be savored. That and I’m trying to lay off the sweets since I’m back. You’ll see why later on…

So after Leipzig, GER, we take a LONG flight into Atlanta, GA. Back home. Only 2 hours from Augusta, where this whole journey started. So I go get my bags, go through customs, rent a car (this process took 3 hours mind you), and get on the road. I get back to Augusta and make a quick stop by my old company to say hello and let them know how the deployment is going. I run by the Clothing Sales store to see about getting a new dress uniform, but they’re out of my size. (damned my wide shoulders) From there, it’s all about relaxing for a couple of days.

While I was lounging around, I happened to catch a movie that people had been talking about quite a bit, Inception. I knew nothing about the movie, aside from people were raving about it. So I go by my lonesome….and came out smiling from ear to ear. Incredible. I’m not going to get into anything about the movie. If you have not seen it, and do not know anything about it, I will say this:

SEE THIS MOVIE. DO NOT READ ABOUT IT BEFORE HAND. JUST SEE IT.




I liked it so much, I went back the next day and saw it again. And it was even better the second time around. Even if it does have Leonardo Dicaprio in it. (Hey, I liked him in Gangs of New York…well, not his character, but Daniel Day Lewis was awesome as the Butcher!)

So on the fourth, I started the ride to my friend Matt’s place in Auburn, AL, which took me back through Atlanta. I was going to hit rush hour traffic, so I stopped in at Mr. Cues II, one of the largest pool rooms in the south. Now, when I got into country, I had my cell phone turned back on. Being an iPhone, there was a particular application that was intriguing me…the break speed application. It is able to, by means of the sound of the cue stick hitting the cue ball, and the cue ball hitting the rack, determine how fast your cue ball was moving. So I go ahead and download the application, grab a house cue off the wall, and give it a test run. I found that I was consistently hitting in the 24.5 mph range when I was hitting it mildly hard but controlled. When I sped it up, I would lose some control of whitey, but was able with a 20 oz. house cue, to get up to speeds of 29 mph. I’d love to see what I could accomplish with a lighter cue and a phenolic tip. Heck…just a lighter cue.

Very pleased with myself, I began to turn the table in, when I saw that they were running an in-house handicapped 1-pocket tournament. It was only 7pm and rush hour was still kicking, and Matt wanted some time to get some stuff done before I got into town. It worked out. So I go and pony up the 20 bucks to play. Single elimination, race to 3. Don’t know who I drew, but he had to spot me the first break and 8-7. He won the first game, I won the second, then he made a couple of real good moves to get out of some traps in games 3 I won game 4, then he won game 5 to win the set on the hill. *sigh* oh well. I did however, in the case game, make a shot that surprised him…and put me on the hill on balls. Unfortunately, I made a critical error in the following set of moves by scratching. It didn’t take long for him to capitalize. Meh…I hadn’t shot pool in a long while. So…back on the road. By the way, we don’t really bring too much in the way of civilian attire with us to a combat zone…I raided WalMart in Augusta for the latest fashions….this is what I was wearing in the pool hall:



I love ugly Hawaiian shirts. :D

So I get to Matt’s place, get settled, get sleep. Get up, and head out…back to Atlanta. (kind of redundant isn’t it? Just wait) Why back to Atlanta? Because I’m getting back on a plane and heading out to where dreams are made, but more often broken.

VEGAS

But before we got to the neon jungle, there was ticketing and airport security to deal with. So, Matt and myself get to the terminal where we waited for a couple of people…two more of my best friends…Shannon and Marge. We go and get our boarding passes, and pay for our luggage, (that still chaps my ass that the airlines are doing that now…what a rip-off). Then head on out to the security point. We waited in line for a bit, and upon getting through security, and consolidating our stuff, I dropped the blue-tooth piece to my phone. Weil, I hadn’t yet put my belt on, and my pants were a bit saggy….of course…the next thing that happens….

RRIIIIPPPPP!



Yeah…tore the entire ass out of my pants. In front of more than a few thousand people standing in line. And no underdrawers. *sigh* Gave everyone a show….oh boy. Hope they enjoyed it. Shannon and Marge were waiting for us about 30 foot away, and when I looked over at Shannon, he was about ready to pass out he was laughing so hard. I couldn’t help but chuckle…and almost entertained the thought of taking a bet that I could get all the way to the Bellagio room and checked in like that…but ended up declining. So, the rest of the journey walking to the gate was spent with my laptop case held over my buttocks to prevent giving people an unwanted surprise. Thankfully, I had a pair of jeans in my carryon bag.

We hadn’t even gotten to Vegas, and I had shown my ass to the world….what a great portent of things to come. Many more pictures and stories to come…2 more parts as well….